You want something or someone so badly, it scares you.
That night made me realize how much you mean to me. How scared I was at the possibility of you leaving me... you walking away from my life. I thought that I would be strong enough to handle such situations because I had a bad relationship before and it didn't end well but you're different. Nothing can ever prepare me if ever you will leave me. Why is that? How come I'm so attached to you? Me who prides in being autonomous can become so attached to one person. It's like my mood and happiness depends on you and I hate it. I try so hard to detach myself (which of course caused you to be annoyed at me for acting cold and distant).
You wonder why I try so hard to put barriers between us. I just feel like I have to. If I don't, I will easily crumble at your mercy and the barriers help me keep a level head when dealing with you. At least this realization will help me in controlling my temper especially if the reasons for getting mad are trivial. This will also help me keep my pride in check. You noticed how hard it is for me to say sorry if I feel like I'm the aggrieved party. Dapat marunong rin ako magbigay. Dapat matuto akong mag give way para sa ikabubuti ng relationship. I know I suck at that but I am trying. I really am and I hope you will appreciate my efforts to compromise. For the record, you have no idea how compromising I am with you compared to my past relationships. I really was a spoiled girlfriend to a certain degree.
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