Of fears on being in love

“What’s it like to be in love?” May asked.

Lucy’s smile was sad. “It’s the most wonderful and terrible thing that can ever happen to you,” she said simply.

“You know that you’ve found something amazing, and you want to hold on to it forever, and every second after you have it, you fear the moment you might lose it.”

 

        This has been my path every since I started my current relationship. I'm not saying I never feared losing my past boyfriends when we were together but this time it feels different. I'm more scared than I was before and I feel this is more fragile compared to the others. I can totally relate to what Lucy said about "...every second after you have it, you fear the moment you might lose it." I'm torn between simply saying what's on my mind and doing what I want to do and controlling what I say out loud to avoid conflict when the atmosphere is charged with tension. For the most part, I say things before I think and it usually ends in arguments. I am being reminded that I should be sensitive to the people around me, especially those close to me so that I won't unnecessarily hurt their feelings. I also have to lower my pride a notch. After all, pride can't hug me back. Hahaha kidding! A healthy amount of pride is okay (I guess) for self preservation but an unhealthy level of pride sure ruins relationships. If I don't want to lose this relationship (you have no idea...or maybe you do.. on how much I want this to work) then I must adjust, too. I will keep being myself but also be sensitive to his feelings so that we can stay in harmony. Or if I have concerns, I better phrase them properly to avoid misunderstandings that cause conflicts.