Turning point

CJ and I have been dating for close to 3 months and it hasn’t been easy but we were able to weather through by communicating our feelings and what we think about things. It really helps a lot when we share or feelings and how we think but it can be very difficult especially since we’re still on the getting to know each other stage. One of the struggles are the scars I got from past relationships. I have cracks here and there… remnants from pieces of me that I picked up when I was utterly shattered by someone. Not from heartbreak due to breakups but through gradual disillusionment that spanned years. Thank goodness I stopped it before I was beyond repair.

Because of such experiences I am wary about relationships. CJ appears too good to be true and sometimes my insecurities play with my head and I tend to push him away before I get hurt. One time we talked seriously about how difficult I am and how sorry I am that he had to deal with me, cracks and all. He simply said, “I’m not sure if I can fix you… but… start a new life with me.” I was stunned. I can’t believe it at first. That he wants to starts afresh with me. I can’t erase what happened to me but he offered me something different. Something new. The best part is that he told me that because he is also starting a new life with me. So the back to square one life applies to both of us. We’ll do things, try new things, experience what we want and constantly communicate our feelings so that we can slowly work things out.

This starting new thing is not something that happens just because we decided on it. It needs constant reassurance and lots of work. We still stumble a lot and we tend to have misunderstandings but we always find our way back to each other because we made a decision on this as partners and I guess that’s a very important key in keeping this relationship.

It's always an adventure when I'm with you.