'Smell the flowers' 🌸

They say time flies when you’re having fun. I couldn’t agree more. But here’s the catch. Time flies when I’m with you whether we’re having fun, doing nothing or even if we’re not in good terms. *cough LQ * cough

It’s kind of difficult that we have different views on time. You pursue your goals to the point that you sometimes forget to live in the present. To “stop and smell the flowers” as they say. No matter how much I try to explain that concept, you don’t get it. You’re whole being rebels at the thought of pausing. Perhaps it’s because you haven’t seen what time sweeps away when you least notice its passing. Perhaps it’s because you’re the eldest kid and you lead the way that you don’t see the pitfalls of rushing towards that goal too fast, sacrificing precious moments that will never return.

I, on the other hand, have seen countless moments go to waste because proper attention wasn’t given to them. When the person wished to go back to that time, relive it... it’s gone forever. It’s not gonna happen the way one envisions it; slipped from one’s fingers completely. A sad mimicry to that moment to make up for lost time is mostly the remedy but the essence of that moment is lost forever.

I want to avoid such occurrence so I do my best to grab that moment, hold on to it, chase it, crystallize it so I can always go back to it when I need to. I have this great need to document all the important phases of my life because I don’t want to miss anything. I don’t want history to repeat itself. I don’t want to make the same mistake of taking things for granted, of always thinking I have more time with this person because one can never know the changes that might come. Better be safe than sorry. You may be irritated at how zealous I am at being IN THE MOMENT but I don’t care. You can get mad all you like but I’m not taking chances. Never again.

I hope one day you will be able to fully grasp my perspective and learn to slow down and smell the flowers. That you will come to appreciate the moment without suddenly jumping because you remember the rat race towards your goal.

I’m not asking you to stop chasing those goals, just slow down enough that you balance that fiery passion with cool leisure.

Relationship adjustments

The thing about pride is, once you shrug it off for someone, you don’t know what actions to take next. Should I make the next move? Should I keep on waiting in case he wants to be left alone?

I’m a person who doesn’t make the first move. Out of shyness or fear or rebuff. I don’t want to appear too easy, as well, so I take my sweet time in responding. However, circumstances have pushed me to shed this garment called pride.

I’m in a pinch and adjusting to this new way of responding & doing things. To not to think too much about my ego and think about what’s for the greater good of the relationship. I hope this will lead to better days.

This thought was written months ago and I must say there's a bit of improvement in controlling my pride. Either that or he's learned not to match my anger and temper with his own. Hahaha. Either way, we are now able to keep flaring tempers at a minimum and understand each other better when conflicts arise. If I get whiny and moody, he seems to keep his cool by now and instead offers comforts (massage or cuddles or treats) to lift my spirits. Good job, us, in adjusting to each other's needs. :)