Thoughts # 17

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"I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has." —unlockingparadise

Photo post # 13

Another reminder for a soul that feels hopeless. ∞✞♥

Photo post # 12

This is what friends are for. They join you in your craziness. :D

An open letter to people who find comfort in uplifting others

Dear you,

      Cloudy and stormy days come to all of us. We weather through it because we have to. The world doesn’t stop with us feeling bad about every unfortunate event that happens to us. Instead we plow forward with all the strength that we could muster, asking God Almighty to sustain us and give us the strength that we need.

      We cope with bad news differently. I cope by first doing things that I find amusing; something that can happily distract me from my demise. What is the easiest way to take my mind off things than to do something I enjoy and take all my attention? 

     We tend to act selfishly when we’re hurt. We think of ourselves first and solve our problems before anybody else’s and I think that’s okay, too. We are the master of our happiness and if being selfish will make us feel better then so be it. Of course, don’t go overboard as hurting somebody just for the sake of your happiness.

      However, there is also joy in uplifting someone else’s sad spirit.

     Here’s a little story of how I came to realize how warm and happy my heart feels after cheering up somebody else when I was also suffering: 

       I was stressed out and in despair over life matters that seem to go the wrong way. I was tired but a friend asked me for advice. She’s depressed and confused about certain people. A complicated relationship, perhaps? I didn’t ask the details but instead asked for an analogy so I can understand the situation and give her a piece of my mind. I don’t think I was able to give a sound advice but I offered a listening ear and later decided to give her a little something. A candy with a written “free hugs” coupon sounds insignificant however I delivered those to her in the hopes that she’ll feel better. Lo and  behold! Far from my expectations she feels cheered up. I felt that that small gesture was like an assurance that someone cares. That despite all the negativity, there are people out there who care and who are also suffering. That she is not alone and I think that makes all the difference in the world. That feeling that you are not unique in your suffering gives you strength. 

      That gesture has a double-sided effect. It affected us both. We both felt that we’re not alone. We both got strength from knowing that people out there are coping in their own way and that someone almost always cares about us despite our belief that we’re alone.

      So reader, whenever you feel sad, try uplifting someone’s spirit. You never know how much that person needs that lifeline.

                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                              A Friend. 

Photo post # 11

Was able to capture photos of ladybugs! Achievement unlocked!

I've always wanted to take a photo of these cute bugs. I was and still am not a fan of bugs but ladybugs are exceptions. They are such cuties especially when they fly away! ヅ❤

I hope to take better and closer pictures of them next time.

Also, I learned something new about my camera! Discovered certain settings that would improve my "Aperture Priority" shots! Yeeess! I already feel accomplished today! What a way to spend my holiday! ✌ღ

Dreams and fears go hand in hand

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 "If you’re not scared, it’s not big enough.” - Unknown

This sentence didn’t hold much meaning for me until that one milestone happened in my life. I never wanted anything as much as I wanted that thus the amount of fear I feel is directly proportional to how much I want it.

I’ve been waiting for that chance for a long time, it aches. I wanted it so much to come true and for things to fall into place around it. No matter what happens, I have no regrets in taking that chance and that everything for it is worth the consequences I might face.

As far as I can remember, I wanted things without exercising this much effort. My attitude was more like, if it’s for me, then okay, if not, I will move on. This time, my soul felt like it was being ripped from the strong want I feel. This time I made every effort so I have no regrets in seizing this chance with both hands and that’s why I fear so much. I fear that I will be devastated. I fear that in the end, the one thing I want won’t be given to me. What if it will be given to me and yet things won’t work out and I will end up letting it go not because I didn’t earn it but because of external forces stopping me from fully embracing my current greatest wish!

I know I shouldn’t overthink and my mom tells me this is just an exercise on my emotions. She believes I’ve been through life barely scathed and have it easy that’s why I need all the preparation I can get for more treacherous waters ahead. I shudder to think how this can be easy compared to future turbulence. However, I go through day by day and doing my best to put it at the back of my mind and lock it inside a dark drawer. I need to function as best I could and appear that I’m not fazed by anything.  I know everyone is facing a battle that befits their current situation and my problem is not unique. This should give me comfort and on most days it does, however there are just teeny moments when that anxiety seeps from the dark drawer where it belongs. I squash it immediately before it distracts me further.

For us who are going through a situation wherein we don’t know what to do or how to manoeuvre our way to “cushion” pitfalls, let’s just repeat this mantra, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there... I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.” It may not be of much help in the actual situation but it helps your psyche. Keeping a calm mind and a good head on your shoulders is important to your health so that you’ll be in good shape when the boat is rocked. So let’s keep the faith and support each other whatever we decide to do with our lives.