Thoughts # 18

photo source

Never set relationship goals based on other people. Make your own goals. Go for what makes you happy. You'll only end up disappointed and disillusioned when you see them fall apart thinking they're the perfect couple to emulate. You think there's no "forever" just because a "perfect" couple didn't work out. You start having doubts about your relationship which may end in ruins, too. Stop comparing and do more of what makes your relationship happy and healthy.

An open letter to people who find comfort in uplifting others

Dear you,

      Cloudy and stormy days come to all of us. We weather through it because we have to. The world doesn’t stop with us feeling bad about every unfortunate event that happens to us. Instead we plow forward with all the strength that we could muster, asking God Almighty to sustain us and give us the strength that we need.

      We cope with bad news differently. I cope by first doing things that I find amusing; something that can happily distract me from my demise. What is the easiest way to take my mind off things than to do something I enjoy and take all my attention? 

     We tend to act selfishly when we’re hurt. We think of ourselves first and solve our problems before anybody else’s and I think that’s okay, too. We are the master of our happiness and if being selfish will make us feel better then so be it. Of course, don’t go overboard as hurting somebody just for the sake of your happiness.

      However, there is also joy in uplifting someone else’s sad spirit.

     Here’s a little story of how I came to realize how warm and happy my heart feels after cheering up somebody else when I was also suffering: 

       I was stressed out and in despair over life matters that seem to go the wrong way. I was tired but a friend asked me for advice. She’s depressed and confused about certain people. A complicated relationship, perhaps? I didn’t ask the details but instead asked for an analogy so I can understand the situation and give her a piece of my mind. I don’t think I was able to give a sound advice but I offered a listening ear and later decided to give her a little something. A candy with a written “free hugs” coupon sounds insignificant however I delivered those to her in the hopes that she’ll feel better. Lo and  behold! Far from my expectations she feels cheered up. I felt that that small gesture was like an assurance that someone cares. That despite all the negativity, there are people out there who care and who are also suffering. That she is not alone and I think that makes all the difference in the world. That feeling that you are not unique in your suffering gives you strength. 

      That gesture has a double-sided effect. It affected us both. We both felt that we’re not alone. We both got strength from knowing that people out there are coping in their own way and that someone almost always cares about us despite our belief that we’re alone.

      So reader, whenever you feel sad, try uplifting someone’s spirit. You never know how much that person needs that lifeline.

                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                              A Friend. 

Photo post # 9

"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Infectious laugh

His laugh is so infectious and real that it makes me happy just hearing it. It makes me want to do stuff that would make him laugh like that.

Thoughts # 5

I suddenly understand why some people are afraid of happiness… because something is bound to happen that will even out the good things that are happening.

Sunbeams, happiness & jealous eyes

        We often misunderstand each other and this causes conflict to both parties. One example would be a person who is proud about his or her happiness. He/she shares their delight and gushes over it to their friends. They animatedly tell their story with genuine happiness and excitement. This is well and good over well-meaning people but to the jealous eyes, this is dangerous to the happy person. Jealous eyes will look at the person in a different light. To them, the happy person is bragging and shoving his/her success or progress up their noses. They can’t stand it and resent the happy person, thinking him/her insensitive.

        I know that we should always be tactful and careful not hurt people but sharing genuine happiness is a good thing. Spreading good vibes is actually contagious and may actually uplift other people’s moods. A ray of sunshine is always welcome unless you have your own happiness issues and resent people whose smiles cast sunbeams.

        This makes me sad because such negativity may bring the happy person down and may join their club of sullen people. Instead of feeling proud, the happy person will shrink back to their hole and instead feel ashamed of his/her good fortune. It may cause guilt on the happy person and feel sad over why the others didn’t have the same good fortune as him/her.

        We can’t please everyone and let’s all keep in mind that those real people who matter will be happy for you no matter what. Let those jealous eyes seethe but don’t let them bring you down. Continue to do your best and be happy! Even if you try to hide it, happiness and success will always radiate from you.