Taking chances

“Meow! My name’s MiSi and I’m Silo’s new companion! We met by fate at the arcade when she fought her way through the masses of airy, rubbery objects just to save me from my demise. What a heroic feat of determination and concentration! Among all the prisoners hanging in front of her, she chose to save me. ME! That was a day I will never forget! I will be a loyal and fun companion to her forever!”

Thank you for that introduction, MiSi! I am touched by how you see that chance encounter. MiSi here is my first (and hopefully not the last) toy I got from an arcade game. Her name is derived from mini Silo since I see her as a mini me due to her wide, all teeth smile and happy eyes which resemble me.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to win a toy (preferably a plushy) from arcade games. This desire intensified when I see guys winning games and giving their prizes to their girls. I admit, I am envious of such scenes and truth be told, nobody played a game to win a prize for me (hahahuhu). I tell myself I don’t need someone to win something for me, I will win prizes for myself. Since then, I tried arcade games, UFO catchers and other similar contraptions to win a prize. To my dismay, I never won. I look longingly at people who play and got meters of tickets flowing from the game they’re playing… like how on Earth do you do that?!

Finally, I’ve given up on UFO catchers since they’re expensive and tricky. Lately, I’ve been trying my hand with games related to throwing/darts. Last Sunday, as I was exiting the restroom, I spotted the pop balloons game inside the arcade near the restroom. To my delight, they refilled the balloons so there’s a bigger chance of hitting them. I was having second thoughts on whether I should go for it or nah since I was in a hurry but for some reason, something was pulling me towards the arcade. Something was telling me that I should give it a go plus I don’t get to have this chance everyday. So I bought a ticket for the game. I was so nervous, my palms all cold and sweaty and slightly shaking. I only have 3 tries and that’s it. So I threw the darts with the concentration and determination I can muster under such nerve-racking circumstances. Lo and behold! The person-in-charge said I can choose a stuffed toy for a prize! I was so delighted by this new experience that I took my time choosing a prize. I want it to be worthwhile, something that I really like and not just choose for the heck of it. I scanned the plushies hanged around the play area and spotted a grey happy cat with a red bell collar. There were other similar plushies like it but they were in Barney-purple so NO. It was the only one left of its color so I pointed it to the person-in-charge. He unhooked it from the rail and handed it to me which I received gratefully, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. YES! SUCCESS! I finally won an arcade prize! 

I can’t stop reveling at what happened. The “bitterness” inside receded a bit and a faint hope bloomed inside me like sunflowers on a cloudy day. I know this may seem trivial, childish and nonsense to most but this little victory means a lot to me. I had almost given up hope that I would ever win at such games and here is MiSi, evidence that I did it. Hopefully there will be more similar games/instances where I can win prizes not only for myself but also for people I care about.

Thoughts # 3

"I don't care how complicated this gets, I still want you."

 

One of the best things you'll hear from your partner especially in times of strife.

Of pride and barriers

       She held her pride like shields over a sensitive heart. Her high-strung nature reinforces the barriers for she feels too deeply for her own good. Her fancies color her world with pastel colors & faerie land on good days… but paints her domain scarlet & pitch during turbulence.

        She has yet to learn that the very shields that protect her from harm, are the very things that would hinder her ultimate happiness.

Relationship goal # 4

Travel and have adventures together!

Delayed gratification

I suck at delayed gratification. I prefer little rewards for small victories here and there.. But for our current situation, I need to get used to delayed gratification. It’s a great struggle but something I must do in order to keep the relationship and my life from falling apart. I hope I'll survive this everyday ordeal.

Thoughts #2

"I want everyone to leave me alone and I also want someone to come snuggle me and rub my back. Or I don’t want that. I want you to go away and stop talking and I want a hug and I want ice cream sundaes and I never want to eat again. ―Siri Moon"

 

I guess that quote pretty much describes how contrary I am.

Sunbeams, happiness & jealous eyes

        We often misunderstand each other and this causes conflict to both parties. One example would be a person who is proud about his or her happiness. He/she shares their delight and gushes over it to their friends. They animatedly tell their story with genuine happiness and excitement. This is well and good over well-meaning people but to the jealous eyes, this is dangerous to the happy person. Jealous eyes will look at the person in a different light. To them, the happy person is bragging and shoving his/her success or progress up their noses. They can’t stand it and resent the happy person, thinking him/her insensitive.

        I know that we should always be tactful and careful not hurt people but sharing genuine happiness is a good thing. Spreading good vibes is actually contagious and may actually uplift other people’s moods. A ray of sunshine is always welcome unless you have your own happiness issues and resent people whose smiles cast sunbeams.

        This makes me sad because such negativity may bring the happy person down and may join their club of sullen people. Instead of feeling proud, the happy person will shrink back to their hole and instead feel ashamed of his/her good fortune. It may cause guilt on the happy person and feel sad over why the others didn’t have the same good fortune as him/her.

        We can’t please everyone and let’s all keep in mind that those real people who matter will be happy for you no matter what. Let those jealous eyes seethe but don’t let them bring you down. Continue to do your best and be happy! Even if you try to hide it, happiness and success will always radiate from you.

Relationship goal #3

Do interesting activities together!

 

Being an introvert

We introverts are not antisocial. We are just reserved and prefer to be approached first especially in parties or crowded places for fear that we will impose on somebody or they can't relate to what we have to say. But if you'll be nice enough to accommodate us then we can be the most animated storytellers or the warmest person with a touch of shyness.

Potential breakup letter

      It’s strange how you have this gut feeling in your stomach when you know something’s about to change or end. The wind feels weird and you get these strange insights in your head about possibilities and circumstances where that person is no longer in the picture.

     Everything feels dry around them and trying to bring back what was is only a struggle. Nothing feels right anymore and all you want is escape. A time to think. A hopeless feeling at the pit of your stomach.

     Somehow a little flame inside insists that you must keep on trying. That maybe something will change for the better. But the more you try to push it, the more it changes for the worst until you’re all dried up inside. You throw your hands to the heavens in exasperation and curl up and wish that you were somewhere else but here. That you can go somewhere, some place to forget. To start anew. To turn a new leaf. To meet new people. Back to square one where no one knows you and you can easily recreate yourself, putting the past behind you. How wonderful and easy if that is financially possible.

     I weep for a place I know not. I mourn for a me that would have been born if I had that chance of flying over yonder. My heart grieves for a wonderful future thwarted from me by life, by circumstances, by the merciless barriers of language. How unkind that I get a glimpse of something wonderful only to be taken away from me by the black hands of the inevitable. I wish I could just disappear with that thwarted future, in a place where all broken dreams go.

Relationship goal #2

Play games and compete with each other.

Relationship goal:

To come home together to the same house and pamper each other after a hard day’s work.

Fancies #1

Maybe.. just maybe.. if I flip the curtains fast enough, I will witness a different view.. a glimpse of a different world before it transforms back to our everyday, grey garage with rust-colored bricks and cement.

Sacred Ground

Every ounce & every contour

Every line & every plane

I want to explore

I want to discover

I want to feel

Those sacred grounds

That elude my seal

Uncharted lands

I want to appeal

Waiting for my kiss

Oh what bliss!

When I become his!

Happy birthday to the guy who kept my feet on the ground but at the same time flew me to cloud 9! Hahaha no matter how many times you annoy me (directly proportional to the number of times I want to throw you far away), I still love you and I want to be with you. Thank you for being patient with me. I know I'm more than a handful and you're always at your wits end thinking of ways to pacify me. I drive you crazy both in a positive and negative way. I hope you were able to get your well deserved rest on your birthday. Continue to chase your dreams and never be afraid to confide in me. (｡••｡)⸝ෆ⃛⸜(｡••｡)  (°◡°♡).:｡

I hope you'll appreciate that piece I made for you. （〃・ω・〃）