Time, a playful character

I went up to our 2^nd floor view deck to turn over my pillow that I “soaked” under the sun. I suddenly caught a glimpse of the sky through the tinted glass of sister’s old room. Wow. It transported me back in time. I suddenly thought, “How many years had passed since that day, since those days? So many things had changed. I’m no longer 14 or 15. I’m 21!” I just realized how fast time flew by. It seems only yesterday that I was contemplating about my feelings for someone. Now, that person is not as significant as before… Time can do almost anything with one’s life! I suddenly felt the need to pause time. To slow down and let me assess things. Day by day, it feels the same but when I look back now, a lot had changed. A lot had happened. I looked at the church in front of our house and remembered the days when it was not yet built. The place was an open lot and I learned how to ride a bike there. I looked back at the closed windows & remembered the countless times I played with sister there. Now she’s already married and has a baby! I looked down at the mosaic-square design of the tiles on our view deck floor. I remembered the old house and how it was broken down and renovated. The place was so dusty and we had to jam ourselves in one room while the house was being fixed. I remembered haunting the “ruins” of the house at night when the workers had gone while imagining what it would look like when it’s done. Looking so far back, a lot did change and happen. I didn’t notice it before because I was busy moving forward all the time. Now I have time for myself because I’m waiting for calls from offices I plan to work for. I realized I’m really not a kid anymore. I didn’t really reflect or thought about me getting older. I wonder what my kid me and present me talk about if they’ll meet? It’s curious! I also realized that trees that I rarely notice & rather took for granted slapped me the knowledge of how many years had already passed. I stood on a part of the yard where I know I can see a patch of the sky without contact from the sun. It’s a cool & shady place because it has lots of plants. The trees there as I had known them were not enough to cover that patch of sky. I stood there again this afternoon & to my surprise I can no longer see the sky. Branches & leaves of trees have woven themselves together & covered the sky. I realized how big they’ve grown! Trees grow gradually thus I don’t really notice their progress so it took me by surprise when I realize they’ve really grown tall & big. So much time has passed since I lazed around… Time is indeed very playful! It catches you unawares!

I wrote this quite a long time ago but I decided I want to include it here. I have other old writings I want to publish here soon. :)

Of love and compromise

"It's not always rainbows and butterflies 
It's compromise that moves us along.." - Maroon 5

It’s a phrase that every relationship can relate to. We all have happy times but for the most part in our everyday lives, compromise keeps us going. We can’t always have our way and it’s also not right to just let the other person have his or her way all the time so meeting halfway is really important in every relationship whether romantic, among friends or family. There are times when we get really frustrated and we just want to stop talking to the person or have time away from each other because we can’t meet halfway. I guess a little distance and time away from each other is good so both parties can gather their thoughts but not too long. Partners should support each other. I remember the advice my sister gave to her brother-in-law during the wedding. These are not the exact words but the thought is this:

Put each other first before anybody else.

Partners should listen and support each other before anyone else because in the end, they are the ones who will be together for a lifetime. No matter what other people say or whatever advice they give, they’re not the ones who will face the consequences but the person/s concerned. It’s difficult because we’d prefer to run to our comfort zones like hanging out with friends and forgetting about it instead of facing the problem head on. It’s good to listen to advice and weigh them but in the end, you must work things out together. Choose which advice fits your situation and what can make it better, not what is the easiest way out.

Most important is to pray to God for guidance and put Him between your relationship.

Loving you is red

    Falling in love is both a beautiful and mysterious thing. It makes you feel different kinds of emotions all because of one person… but that is also the reason why it’s scary. You get to learn different things about yourself, both good and bad. You realize you can actually sacrifice something for another person or you can be so selfish that you scare yourself. How can another existence be of so much importance to your mood? Your decisions? Falling in love can make even the most logical person make illogical decisions. You miss the person despite the fact that you just said goodbye. I mean, how crazy can that be? You get used to having this person around that a sudden change in routine will make you flip 180 degrees… or maybe that’s just me. Hahahaha.


    Anyway, here’s an example of how it affects your mood: You walk and then you casually greet the person like any other friend and you get ignored. You act that it doesn’t bother you but inside you did a 180 degree flip from happy-sappy to grumpy. Just like that, the person affects you. And the usual “love songs suddenly make sense” or “this song really speaks to me about my love life right now!” and all that s%$#@. Hahaha.
 
    I’m the kind of person who wants to keep my real feelings in check but somehow this one person upset the apple cart and I’m left running after the scattered apples and trying my best to retrieve them all and arrange them neatly on my cart. To be honest, until now I’m still looking for the other pieces and trying to get my equilibrium back. It was crazy because I met him during a strange time in my life. Before I knew it, he crept into my life and was stubborn enough to stay… for now and hopefully for good? Naaaah. I’m still trying to figure out about how exactly I feel for him. His qualities are the ones that I don’t exactly look for in a person but he has endearing qualities that would fluster a tsundere like me. I won’t know what to say or how to respond properly for fear that it might not be true so I end up retorting mean words at him.
 
    I don’t know what will happen, everything feels like a dream sometimes… However.. I hope that it will all make sense and every imbalance feeling, crazy decisions & YOLO moments will all be worth it.

Of flowers and girls

“She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her... I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little stratagems. Flowers are so inconsistent! But I was too young to know how to love her...”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

The onslaught and unhindered sound of rain keeps battering our roof. Why oh why do you relive such memories? It’s like the sound of rushing water caused by rain are the sands of time pouring in, carrying with it memories that it eroded with its rough powders.

photo source

Isla Jardin Escapade!

These are just choice pictures from my stash and continue to scroll down for the full article about our escapade

Over the weekend some of my officemates and I went to Isla Jardin, Glan, Saranggani to unwind and leave behind the stress and pressure of office and city life. It was really a good way to relax because the place is really far from civilization (in my opinion). Even our cellphones have no signal save for users of Globe Telecom. Tisha, an officemate and under the SALN unit, is the only Globe user I know who was with us during the trip. Had I known that the place have no Sun Cellular or Smart signal, then I would’ve bought a Touch Mobile ( TM ) sim card which is a sister company of Globe, by the way. However, at the end of the trip, I realized that it was also fun to have no communication to people back at the city because I was able to focus more and appreciate nature and the people around me. I’m getting ahead of myself so let’s go back to the vacation part. We, Nikki, and I, were fetched near our area on the way because the road we’re taking goes South which is where I live. Nikki is also part of the SALN unit, for your info. We waited until past 8:00 (I forgot the exact time) for the van to arrive. My parents dropped me at a convenience store so I can wait for the van with Nikki. I said goodbye to my parents and jumped into the van. Thank God it was quite spacious so I can relax and have a place to put my stuff! I sat beside one of my direct boss on my left and Nikki on my right. The travel was smooth sailing and we arrived at the area way past lunch time where food is waiting! Yey for lechon! Yummerss! We ate with gusto and drank soft drinks; hard drinks for most of the guys. Then we were free to lolly-gaggle after lunch. I don’t know what to do so I took pictures with my camera with Nikki and Tisha tagging along. It was too hot for swimming so we went back and chatted with the guys who were drinking. I passed on drinks since I’m not really a fan of alcohol. We played Kokology for a while since I brought the book with me and had fun interpreting the answers and kinda getting a gist of what type of person each of us are. When it was around 5:00 pm when the sun was setting and a warm glow was around the area, we decided to dip ourselves in the ocean. The water felt good but our friend and officemate, Beau, had another idea. We invited us to go hiking on this trail that follows the path around the massive rock formations. I was reluctant because I’m really clumsy and I’m afraid I might trip and fall on the rocky pools at the sides. Thank goodness nothing of the sort happened. We took lots of pictures as we followed the trail and was rewarded by breathtaking views that surprised us every turn! I did not regret going through such fear and anxiety because of the rewarding view I got. The beach that we found in a little secluded area after a few turns was really tranquil and inviting. The sand was softer compared to the ones near the cottages and the water was divine tinted with a beautiful shade of aquamarine. I wished to stay longer but the troop wanted to go on ahead and follow the trail. Beautiful after beautiful view greeted us every turn and it was worth the scrapes and tired feet I got afterwards. Lastly, we climbed back to level ground and followed a grassy path that was so quiet that it bordered on being creepy. We even saw an abandoned house that piqued my interest but unfortunately it was getting dark and my friends were not interested to explore a derelict looking house. Who knows what spooks live there so we passed by it quickly. We eventually arrived at someone’s backyard or so it looks. We were at the other end of the line of cottages, the expensive looking ones that really look like houses. We went back to our cottage to shower and change for dinner. We had another round of modified lechon and some grilled fish and the usual soft drinks and hard drinks. I walked along the beach with the cool wind to fan my face. I looked up and lo and behold! The Milky Way is visible from Isla Jardin! Wow! I felt really happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I finally observed the Milky Way and sad because I can’t crystallize the moment I saw it for I have no camera that can capture such beauty. It was just as I expected! A line of cloudy stars that spanned the sky dotting it with twinkling lights. I also walked with Beau and Nikki and talked of various topics about life. I also sang my heart out just so I can relax. We joined the other bosses on their drinking session and talked about psychology and choices and how it reflects who we are (not going into details! And no we didn’t drink. Haha). I decided I had enough human company so Nikki and I decided to call it a day and retreated to our cottages. My mind was still buzzing despite my tired body so I stayed outside the cottage even after I changed into jogging pants as my PJs. Suddenly a friend and officemate surprised me by talking to me despite the late hour. I was typing my feelings on my phone then and deleted it lest he will see what it contains. Feelings are sacred to me and I will not let some kid read it. We talked of random things from horror, creatures that “roam” our land, our college (even though we never met there) experiences and our experiences of the unknown to crazy ideas and how weird I am and how much of a kid he is. Despite the nonsense talk, I enjoyed talking and before I knew it, it was 3:30 am and my body can’t take it anymore. Some of our friends and officemates didn’t sleep and instead grilled bananas and offered some to us. We ate it and declared that it was good! After eating I was so sleepy and tired that I just dived into bed without thinking about my position or what and I fell asleep only to be woken by my alarm clock. It was like I just closed my eyes and suddenly my phone woke me up. I turned off the alarm and eventually woke up around 6:45. I immediately showered and changed and ate cup noodles before ordering breakfast at the hall/clubhouse. I wanted to order bacon but they said it was not available (much to my disappointment) and instead had beef tapa. I wanted to have coffee but I dare not trust my tummy for the long journey so I just had powdered juice. We finished it right away and headed for the van home. I was so groggy from lack of sleep that I had no appetite for anything else so I just slept for the most part of the journey. I woke up in between during stops at stores and shops where we bought pasalubong for our family. I bought bibingka and banana chips with sugar and sesame seeds (sorry! I don’t know the name!). I texted my parents that we were going home when the signal came back. I asked the driver to drop me near our neighborhood so I won’t travel far to get home. I said goodbye to my officemates and thanked them for the vacation. I jumped off where they dropped me and I rode a jeep that would enter our subd. so I don’t have to walk far to our house. When I got back home, I discovered a bite or itchy something under my foot. So bothersome! I planned on uploading the pictures right away but I was so tired that I slept most of the afternoon after eating lunch. After uploading the pictures after dinner, I watched RWBY (the latest “anime” I watched) until I couldn’t take it anymore and continued to sleep. I needed much rest for it was Monday the next day.