Relationship goal # 6

When conversations about the future always include “we” and “us”. :”>

Thoughts # 6

Masakit isipin na yung akala mo buo pa, yun pala wala na.

Photograph and Words by : Mayel Tapic

Relationship goal # 5

Take lots of pictures to remember the places we traveled together.

Huuuug!

Anywhere is fine as long as I'm with you. :3

Forever awkward. :3

Self-examination on being an introvert

        Introverts are known to be anti-social. We appear that way, yes. A friend even asked if we can be “trained” in dealing with crowds. I believe to some extent, yes. When it goes down to business and work, we socialize according to the demands of the task/s at hand. But at the end of the day, we crave solitude. We need to recharge ourselves in our haven of peace, books, movies, series or whatever solo activity we enjoy.

        Although we can be trained for work that needs to deal with people at times, we struggle more to get used to new people compared to extroverts. We do it out of duty for the most part.

        Moreover, being an introvert is a matter of preference. While we can deal with groups if we have to, our preference still lies in the comfort of a few close friends. I admit, crowds really drain my energy. Instead of going to parties with half the people strangers to me, I’d rather stay at home and read books or watch anime or play computer games. Perhaps chit-chat with a friend and ask them how they’re doing. I can also opt to meet with a friend I haven’t seen in a while or a few close ones for dinner or coffee; just catching up.

        I admit that loneliness seeps in sometimes. But I can deal with that. Better to feel lonely at times than lost in a sea of people. Meeting new people is fun but please spare us the crowd. A few ones at a time is good, thank you very much.

        So now you know that being an introvert is not something that should be fixed. It’s a preference we’re born in. We can adapt to groups and get along well with people, but at the end of the day, we prefer peace. Our preference stays the same. We recharge our reserves through solo activities or time with a few loved ones. On a personal level, we would rather be with a few people, preferably close friends. That’s just who we are.

Missing someone

“I miss you terribly… do you feel the same way?”

A sentence she couldn’t have uttered because of her pride. But pride has no place in a heart so lonely & cold. Her ghostly hands reaching for that which she cannot touch.

Thoughts # 5

I suddenly understand why some people are afraid of happiness… because something is bound to happen that will even out the good things that are happening.

My thunderstorm

Aren’t thunderstorms fascinating?

They render me speechless

Surprised beyond words

I am stilled by its dangerous beauty

Entranced I stare

The dangers pushed at

The dark corners of my mind

Not minding my own safety

Much like you

My instincts smell pain

My mind tells me to be cautious

But I can’t help myself

I just stare as I get closer

Closer until I’m on your path

Unaware of when you’ll strike

Thoughts # 4

Portions of your life are like plants. You have to water them and fertilize them in order for them to grow and bear fruit. Don’t expect fruits, beautiful flowers and a bountiful garden on an area or areas where you least give your attention to.

Faces and fluffy ears!

I’ve always liked objects that have cute faces or ears or tail. Something that makes the objects alive or adorable to look at. I take it for granted that I simply love them for their cuteness. I fail to see that perhaps there is a deeper root to this preference in nonliving things (or I’m just looking into it too much).

Admit it, you can’t deny that such things with cute ears or cute faces are gigil-worthy even if perhaps you find it weird. I, for one, can’t help but pick them up and have a close inspection of their features. I even make stories of how or why such things are assigned such faces.

One day, I have this sudden thought that maybe this liking for “personified” objects stemmed from my lonely childhood. Youngest among four siblings and having 10, 13 and 14 years gap from my older siblings left me alone most of my childhood years. Aggravated by strict Asian parents, I was incarcerated at home so I only play with toys all by myself. I was also introduced to the computer at an early age so I’ve been a gamer ever since. Huhuhu eyes, I’m sorry! Sometimes, our maid would play with me but it always ended up with me being tricked by them (they hide & I panic thinking they left me alone at home). I was always “shunned” by my older siblings during my grade school years because they don’t want me to join the grownups (uppity!). As I grew older I understood that it is kind of a pain in the butt to have a little girl following you around when you want to look cool while having fun with friends. I enjoyed or learned to enjoy my own company with stuffed animals, computer and books. Yes! Books! They are like portals to another world or place! They have helped me survive my dreary days until now.

After recalling these memories, I came to the conclusion that perhaps the reason why I like personified objects is because they seem to provide company for me. They ease the ache inside of being alone. I probably sound pathetic right now but I do have friends but the preference still sticks. I remember the innumerable times I wish that animals can talk or I can talk to animals. I also hoped that I can communicate with plants or even with objects (haha Will Vandom from W.I.T.C.H.)! TBH, I actually name the stuff that I always use or my favorites. My favorite or everyday bag, my laptop (Blake Belladona from RWBY) and other things I lost count of. I urge them on and sometimes thank them for a job well done (hahaha, I bet I sound crazy). But if you ever share the same sentiments or the same taste in personified objects, feel free to talk to me, okay?

Here are some of my stuff who are "personified."

Newly bought kitty mug with a mischievous look. I can't go home without it after spotting it at the department store!

Rilakkuma inspired pouch for my camera!

Panda hoodie from le bf! 1st Christmas gift from him! He sure knows I like such cuties. ^_^