Not lovelife related but still love

It pains me to hold on to something that already let me go. But that's irrational, love always is & that's why I end up getting hurt.

Thoughts # 11

 It's crazy at times when you think you can "rattle the stars" and feel so strong that you feel no one can crumble your resolve and the next minute you just wanna crawl in a corner and feel depressed about the bad things that are happening.

Walang time

photo source

"Malayo na sana narating ng Adventure naten, kaso biglang nawalan ka na ng Time." 

Words and Artwork by Neil Johannes Botor

Sometimes I feel like we no longer have time for each other. I mean, it's not the same as before when we can just randomly go off on a trip and forget about our worries and realities. But now, it seems like the stress of everyday life is pressing on us and we don't even do anything to relieve ourselves from it like our "recharge" trips to little havens within the city. I dunno, maybe I'm the only one who feels this way but it's eating me up. It's probably due to added stress caused by frustrations and uncertainty towards the future. Rest assured it's not a future with you that I'm uncertain about but the path that I'm taking. I guess it's taking its toll on me and we're both getting busy. I just hope you realize sooner how much we needed a break from all this. I'm hoping you'll see and feel all this from my perspective and not just someone who sympathizes with my demise. I need you to empathize. I can't say all this to you because I know I sound selfish and I know you're working hard for the future. All I can hope is that you'll also see it my way.

Pain like the sun

“You said my sadness was like the sun, beautiful from a distance but it hurt you too much to come closer.”— Lang Leav

        This line from Lang Leav really hits me here *points to my sternum*. I can feel that my sadness hurts him. He tries to sympathize with me but he can’t find the right words to say or he doesn’t know how to comfort me when I’m sitting beside him, broken and unable to coherently explain myself. This frustrates him and sometimes results to us fighting because we can’t connect. I can’t explain to him in a way that he can understand with regards to my needs when I feel broken. During the times when I feel like letting all the negativity wash over me instead of fighting it off with a brave smile... We end up more hurt than before with no one being satisfied with the situation and aching at the same time to make it better.. Only... we don’t know how exactly to go about it. This is probably an accumulation of all the bad stuff that’s been happening and how we can’t seem to comfort each other properly. I hope this is just a phase and better days are coming...

Thoughts # 6

Masakit isipin na yung akala mo buo pa, yun pala wala na.

Photograph and Words by : Mayel Tapic