An open letter to people who find comfort in uplifting others

Dear you,

      Cloudy and stormy days come to all of us. We weather through it because we have to. The world doesn’t stop with us feeling bad about every unfortunate event that happens to us. Instead we plow forward with all the strength that we could muster, asking God Almighty to sustain us and give us the strength that we need.

      We cope with bad news differently. I cope by first doing things that I find amusing; something that can happily distract me from my demise. What is the easiest way to take my mind off things than to do something I enjoy and take all my attention? 

     We tend to act selfishly when we’re hurt. We think of ourselves first and solve our problems before anybody else’s and I think that’s okay, too. We are the master of our happiness and if being selfish will make us feel better then so be it. Of course, don’t go overboard as hurting somebody just for the sake of your happiness.

      However, there is also joy in uplifting someone else’s sad spirit.

     Here’s a little story of how I came to realize how warm and happy my heart feels after cheering up somebody else when I was also suffering: 

       I was stressed out and in despair over life matters that seem to go the wrong way. I was tired but a friend asked me for advice. She’s depressed and confused about certain people. A complicated relationship, perhaps? I didn’t ask the details but instead asked for an analogy so I can understand the situation and give her a piece of my mind. I don’t think I was able to give a sound advice but I offered a listening ear and later decided to give her a little something. A candy with a written “free hugs” coupon sounds insignificant however I delivered those to her in the hopes that she’ll feel better. Lo and  behold! Far from my expectations she feels cheered up. I felt that that small gesture was like an assurance that someone cares. That despite all the negativity, there are people out there who care and who are also suffering. That she is not alone and I think that makes all the difference in the world. That feeling that you are not unique in your suffering gives you strength. 

      That gesture has a double-sided effect. It affected us both. We both felt that we’re not alone. We both got strength from knowing that people out there are coping in their own way and that someone almost always cares about us despite our belief that we’re alone.

      So reader, whenever you feel sad, try uplifting someone’s spirit. You never know how much that person needs that lifeline.

                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                              A Friend. 

Wallflowers unite!

I often wondered how I’m drawn to lonely souls. In a crowd, I almost always approach the outcasts. I feel a kinship towards them; a certain rapport that I find difficult to have with the loud ones. I guess it’s because I don’t want them to feel how I feel. I don’t want them to suffer the circumstances that I do when mostly left alone during gatherings. I seem to have a knack for coaxing shy wallflowers to talk to me. Birds of a feather, I suppose?

I came upon the realization that I’m drawn towards these lonely beings is because I’m one of them. I can’t really put myself out there like those extroverts but I can approach hose quiet souls and make them feel less out of place. I like alleviating their discomfort in a gentle and quiet way instead if mixing with the center of the crowd. I seem to get on better with the marginalized than the popular ones.

It still bothers me sometimes that I have difficulty in blending in with a large group of people but then I realize we all have a place in this heterogeneous world of lively birds and colorful wallflowers. I may try to mix-in with the lively birds but I feel better among kindred spirits and whispering wallflowers.

disclaimer: photo not mine. Click this link for the source

Hershey’s Happygram Sorry

        

I’m just happy and a little touched right now because my partner & I got into a fight because of my quick temper. Still, he said sorry first and it made my heart melt. I know my pride is really..ugh.. nevermind. So it is quite difficult for me to say sorry and admit my mistakes and I hate it when he points it out. However, he said sorry even though I sparked the fight which for me shows that he values our relationship over pride or pointing out who is right. Thank you!

Just like what the Beldam said in Coraline:

“They say even the proudest spirit can be broken… with love.”

Let’s talk, shall we?

It’s crazy how we hesitate to contact someone despite having mobile phones to easily reach out to another. I look back at the times when people frantically take turns in the telephone or excitedly call their friend over the telephone when something exciting happened. People make an effort to communicate since the communication tools before are limited. We make an effort to make letters and patiently wait for it to arrive. We took the extra effort knowing it is the only way that our feelings will reach another.

Now, with all the technology so we can easily reach out to another, we hesitate. We upload pictures & videos so we can better show them what we want to convey which is good but it’s become impersonal. We post waiting for someone to react. We scan through our feed and stalk or passively take note of the updates of our friends’ lives. With all the info we can access about other people, we take communicating with them directly for granted. We just browse through their updates instead of asking about them.

Another thing, people are lazy in replying or answering questions about how they’re doing nowadays because they already updated their profile or their timeline. They will put the person asking in the “seenzone” or tell them to refer to his/her timeline for updates. Sometimes they answer but they keep it short since they don’t want to repeat themselves about their updates.

We are so busy with different diversions; different things technology has to offer that we forget the reason why these are invented. Innovations are made so we can better communicate and reach out to others but for the most part, the effect is the opposite. We are so busy with them that we forget to have true communication with our friends.