Bend in the road

I will miss all this. I will miss things I never thought I would experience. These excitements and thrills that make me feel alive. Make me feel that I’m making a difference. Despite all that, I must move on and say goodbye. I must think of the long run.

These thrills are momentary. Once they end, the charm wears off and I’m back to the usual. Would I exchange momentary excitement for an opportunity that I know would make me happier? That would benefit me in the long run? I think not. I made my choice. I will face the consequences and make sacrifices. Sacrifices that I know I can give up for something I want. Something I’ve been waiting for so long.

Life is full of choices and sacrifices. You choose what you’re willing to lose in order to gain.

Coming back won’t be the same. I’m not the same. It’s a start of a new journey. Familiar environment perhaps but never the same. We can never go back to what once was, we can only start again.

So to anyone who is starting again, stay strong. Pray to God for strength and guidance. Hope for the best but be prepared. Keep up the faith for exciting things may come at the bend in the road.

An open letter to people who find comfort in uplifting others

Dear you,

      Cloudy and stormy days come to all of us. We weather through it because we have to. The world doesn’t stop with us feeling bad about every unfortunate event that happens to us. Instead we plow forward with all the strength that we could muster, asking God Almighty to sustain us and give us the strength that we need.

      We cope with bad news differently. I cope by first doing things that I find amusing; something that can happily distract me from my demise. What is the easiest way to take my mind off things than to do something I enjoy and take all my attention? 

     We tend to act selfishly when we’re hurt. We think of ourselves first and solve our problems before anybody else’s and I think that’s okay, too. We are the master of our happiness and if being selfish will make us feel better then so be it. Of course, don’t go overboard as hurting somebody just for the sake of your happiness.

      However, there is also joy in uplifting someone else’s sad spirit.

     Here’s a little story of how I came to realize how warm and happy my heart feels after cheering up somebody else when I was also suffering: 

       I was stressed out and in despair over life matters that seem to go the wrong way. I was tired but a friend asked me for advice. She’s depressed and confused about certain people. A complicated relationship, perhaps? I didn’t ask the details but instead asked for an analogy so I can understand the situation and give her a piece of my mind. I don’t think I was able to give a sound advice but I offered a listening ear and later decided to give her a little something. A candy with a written “free hugs” coupon sounds insignificant however I delivered those to her in the hopes that she’ll feel better. Lo and  behold! Far from my expectations she feels cheered up. I felt that that small gesture was like an assurance that someone cares. That despite all the negativity, there are people out there who care and who are also suffering. That she is not alone and I think that makes all the difference in the world. That feeling that you are not unique in your suffering gives you strength. 

      That gesture has a double-sided effect. It affected us both. We both felt that we’re not alone. We both got strength from knowing that people out there are coping in their own way and that someone almost always cares about us despite our belief that we’re alone.

      So reader, whenever you feel sad, try uplifting someone’s spirit. You never know how much that person needs that lifeline.

                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                              A Friend. 

Wallflowers unite!

I often wondered how I’m drawn to lonely souls. In a crowd, I almost always approach the outcasts. I feel a kinship towards them; a certain rapport that I find difficult to have with the loud ones. I guess it’s because I don’t want them to feel how I feel. I don’t want them to suffer the circumstances that I do when mostly left alone during gatherings. I seem to have a knack for coaxing shy wallflowers to talk to me. Birds of a feather, I suppose?

I came upon the realization that I’m drawn towards these lonely beings is because I’m one of them. I can’t really put myself out there like those extroverts but I can approach hose quiet souls and make them feel less out of place. I like alleviating their discomfort in a gentle and quiet way instead if mixing with the center of the crowd. I seem to get on better with the marginalized than the popular ones.

It still bothers me sometimes that I have difficulty in blending in with a large group of people but then I realize we all have a place in this heterogeneous world of lively birds and colorful wallflowers. I may try to mix-in with the lively birds but I feel better among kindred spirits and whispering wallflowers.

disclaimer: photo not mine. Click this link for the source

Devil's Food Cake!

Finished product!

Devil’s Food Cake... I’ve been eyeing this recipe way back when my sister still resides with us. As Nigella demonstrates how the cake is made on YouTube, I’ve been very curious to try it myself. I lacked confidence then and I was afraid of wasting ingredients so it took me this long to try it out. It actually took me years! Aaaand finally! I was able to bake Devil’s Food Cake using Nigella’s recipe!

I kept watching the video and observed how she does it and studied the recipe a few days before actually baking the cake. I checked if the ingredients were available here and scouted for them beforehand. As that fateful day drew close, I got more and more anxious to the point that I want the day to come faster so I can get over my anxiety!

Glossy AF! XD

I planned on baking this cake a day before my mum’s birthday with the help of my partner but unfortunately he turned up late and I had to start baking before lunch to avoid finishing before brownouts takeover. I was really annoyed that he wasn’t able to help in the main baking time but I brushed it off ‘cause I don’t want to ruin the mood in making the cake.

My brown babies! :3

Lo and behold! The cake was a success! It turned out better than I expected. I kept patting the cakes lovingly while waiting for the frosting to get ready for application. My partner kept teasing me at how I’m petting the brown babies. I kept saying, “What? Don’t you wanna pat them? Aren’t my babies beautiful?” Hahahaha he must think I’m weird but I don’t care. I was filled with pride at the success of the cake. It gave me confidence to explore more recipes in the future. Thank you, Nigella, for your easy recipe!

He ended up mixing the frosting till it’s ready and helped me apply them to the cake. He said the cake was yummy and I hope he’s right and not just biased. I have this psycho thing where I think what I do is not good enough despite people saying it’s delicious or it turned out great. Anyway, it turned out beautifully, inside and out! Hurray! I hope they appreciated my efforts in baking something different. I will definitely bake some more in the future!

Rest assured, my children will always have a birthday cake made by their mother every birthday. ;)